TEXT AJ-pomůžete?

Ahoj/Dobrý den,
byl by někdo tak laskavý a zkontroloval krátký text?
Děkuji a prosím žádné rýpavé odpovědi, které mně nepomůžou. Takové odpovědi prospějí akorát Vám, kteří si potřebujete namasírovat své ego.
Děkuji.

Volcanic eruption
Last week on Monday at 11.15 Mauli was surfing. There were good waves, so she was really enjoying it. But suddenly she heard a strong shot. She looked up the hill and she saw a volcanic eruption. The hot lava was flowing down the hill to the city. She grabbed her little sister Naila who was playing on the beach and she ran up to their house. Her mother was crying and pointing to the damaged city. Mauli was very sad, but she was between twenty people who saved their lives.